Make Me Feel

A facebook post the other day mentioned staying away from people who make you feel hard to love. I chose to respond in this way…

Although I believe that no one can make you feel anything, I do know the power of my feelings in any given experience. They are my best guidance system ever: put in place to draw me towards or away from people, places, experiences. I can now look back and honor those times that brought me my most raw and humble lessons. Other people are responsible for their thoughts, words and actions, to be sure. But my feelings are mine – to notice, to accept, and to honor by moving through in the most loving way I can. Trust in yourself. And know there are others who stand with you. Exactly BECAUSE you are you.

Yes, it drew a strong response. A few, in fact.

It has been a long process for me to first define the actual feelings I feel; next to recognize how my pre-patterned belief system (often limiting beliefs I adopted in childhood) flavor my internalization and perspective of the situation that is sparking my feelings; and lastly to shifting the beliefs that simply do not hold true to me any longer.

We choose our thoughts. We choose our words, our actions, our friends, our work, our surroundings. We can choose to modify and improve our habits and behaviors. We can also choose to move towards people who uplift and inspire us to reach more deeply into our authentic self. Those who will encourage us to be the best version of our true selves, standing by us as we shed roles, expectations, obligations and belief systems that no longer serve our growth forward.

This is a courageous process. It has brought me to my most humble, vulnerable, exposed (and at times to my raw, fully-bared) self. And yet I choseand continue to choose to notice some hard truths about my conditioned thought patterning, limiting beliefs and behaviors. Some of which have been difficult for me to accept and to understand. Hard to even shine a light towards, let alone uncover and completely expose.

I choose to stretch and to fill myself by loving myself deeper, by extending to myself the same kindness and compassion I do to others. By noticing acts of kindness and goodness in the world. By choosing to hold positive and loving expressions in my heart and mind, and to bring them forward to others.

In vibrancy, Laurie.

*Published in SIBYL Magazine, for the Spirit and Soul of Woman, April 2018 issue.

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